Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Surely goodness and mercy
It was a gray, happy Christmas here. Among the many things that my parents have done well is to teach us how to give. And so, come Christmastide, we gift elaborately to one another, practically swimming in the ocean of wrapping paper, literally basking in the goodness of generous, grateful hearts. Sometimes I wonder vaguely if it's too much, and of course it is. We don't need all these shiny things. But love itself is a little like this, isn't it? It just keeps welling up. And it doesn't have to be that way, but there it is: overflowing our hollowed hands.
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5 comments:
I love this. A lot.
yes! i very much agree about the goodness of "elaborate gifting".
we have a deep need to know that someone cares enough about us to want to provide us with goods, even when neither the responsibilities associated with a given role (e.g. the parental role), nor generalized benevolence, would give that someone a reason to provide us with those goods. when someone manifestly puts time and thought and effort into getting us something "surplus to requirements", we acquire that knowledge. so in a way, extravagant gifts meet a deep need of the recipient, even tho' the need is not for the present.
on the other side, love needs to be expressed (i think that part of what's awful about a losing a loved one is that we still have all that love, but lose most of our ways of expressing it; and unrequited love is painful, not just because it doesn't involve being loved back, but also because it drastically limits the ability of the lover to express his or her love). and when we are "liberal and princely givers" we express (to the recipient) that our concern for the recipient's good goes way beyond what role-associated-responsibilities or generalized benevolence would involve. so, just as getting an extravagant gift meets a deep need of the recipient, giving an extravagant gift meets a deep need of the donor.
glad you had such a happy Christmas, and thanks for the reflections on it--
chris
Lore, I'm glad you liked it. Sometimes, when I'm writing, I think of the people who are going to read it. Writing this, I thought of you.
Chris, thank you for the thoughtful response (your comments are always so thoughtful--how do you do that?!) I especially like the reciprocity model of extravagance (good for the giver, good for the recipient). I think you've said it better than I could.
Ha! I love that. Thanks for saying that. Especially since I definitely needed to hear that this year.
You made my top five list today on sayble! I hope lots of people start reading you =)
That was the first thing I saw when I woke up this morning. It made my day! Thank you!
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